Three Things

I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today but instead of focusing on that I'd rather share three positive things.

One:
Right beside my office there is a house undergoing roof construction. Today I walked by at lunchtime and the four young guys who were working on it stopped and glanced over at me as I passed them. One of them said to another, "now that is a beautiful girl", which got a smile out of me and another said "miss, you have a really lovely smile". Now, I'm fully aware that they probably said the exact same things to every other woman who walked by but it was a pleasant jolt out of the mundaneness of the day.

Two:
It's gorgeous today. Fluffy snowflakes are falling and covering everything they touch with a white coating. The world looks pristine and sparkly and I like the way my shoes make footprints through the softly packed snow. I quite like winter. I like the way my cheeks go bright red when I walk inside somewhere warm. I love the lingering conversations that can happen over red wine and a fireplace on a cold evening. I like the huggable fabrics that people favour in cooler months like cashmere, wool, and velour. There is a distinct feeling to winter and I've grown to embrace it.

Three:
Yesterday, I received a sweet email from my friend, Julia, who is now living in Vancouver. Julia is one of those people who brightens up a room when she walks in. She's quirky, beautiful, kind, funny, and fun...the girl that people notice and whisper about in the "who is THAT girl" sort of way. I first met her a couple years ago and we clicked instantly. We only lived in the same city for about 5 or 6 months altogether but we became quite close in that time and I've really missed her since she left. Julia and I learned how to knit together by finding how-to-knit sites on the internet. We sat for hours one evening with our noses pressed close to the screen trying to make sense of the nonsensical diagrams. Another evening she was painting a picture at my apartment and when Reese got in her way she warned her and then punished her by painting Reese's nose while saying "tsk, tsk, tsk...bad kitty". She lost my favourite pair of (irreplaceable) mittens one night while out on a walk and I didn't even get upset because it was her who lost them.

When I think of her, I can't help but smile. Her email was asking me to come out to visit her in Vancouver and in a fortuitous series of events it looks like I may be heading to her city in the next couple months on a business trip. She wrote in her distinctive Julia style, "I don't really have words for how I miss you or why, I just do". Awwwwww.

Ache

Happy birthday.

I miss you.

Never Again

When I'm out, it isn't uncommon to see me sipping on a glass of red wine or drinking a pint of one of my favourite beers. It is, however, uncommon to see me falling over after drinking to excess. Last night reminded me why I rarely get myself to that point. I went out for an acquaintance's birthday and decided, for some inexplicable reason, that the beer I was drinking wasn't enough and that I should supplement that with shooters. The evening wore on and I found myself getting progressively dizzier and eventually had to just go home. I abandoned the four friends who came home with me in the living room and embraced the cool feel of my tile floor in the bathroom. How embarrassing.

I woke up this morning with a killer headache and decided to stay in bed for as long as I possibly could. It's now 3pm and I'm just starting to feel human-like again. Not fun! Not fun at all! Ah well, bad hangovers make you say that infamous phrase "never again" and at this moment I almost believe myself!

I'm craving a large, hot, Tim Horton's coffee. Mmmmmm. And, I think a walk outside would do me good. I have much to think about.

I go to the river to soothe my mind
to ponder over the crazy days in my life
watch the river flow
ease my mind & soul

About Regina

I am currently in downtown Regina which I must tell you is a very dull place on a Wednesday evening. I have stealthily snuck into the Ramada Hotel (even though that's not where I'm staying) so that I can use their free Internet service which they generously provide in their lobby. My fellow trip mates are currently in their room finishing off a bottle of Captain Morgan's while watching hockey. There was so much testosterone in the room that I could almost see it dripping from the walls so I decided to leave before they started talking about a)women, b)other sports, c)sex, or d)war stories from their 20 years 'on the job'. The trip itself has been extremely worthwhile and informative but I have had more than my fill of these three guys.

Regina has a very small town feel to it. Restaurants, coffeeshops, and anything remotely interesting closes very early in the evening. Liquor stores are government controlled and close at 6pm! The big thing happening in the city right now is an "Agribition" which I've gathered is some sort of agricultural show that appears to require everyone to wear cowboy boots and stetson hats. It's weird, weird, weird!

Tomorrow I'm back! Hooray!

Open Book

My weekend was a flurry of social activity. Almost every waking (and non-waking) moment was spent in the company of other people. I'm generally extroverted so I did quite enjoy the busyness, conversation, and socialization, but even I need time to decompress, to sit quietly on my own, and to sort out all the thoughts that reel continuously through my head. Tomorrow, I'm off to Regina for a few days on a business trip so I imagine I'll have ample alone time in my hotel. By Friday, I'm sure I'll be itching to see people again!

I feel like a lot has been transpiring of late and I fear that I would bore you if I told you everything. Maybe I'll make this a choose-your-own-adventure type blog. What would you like to hear about, readers? Should I talk about my losing streak at Scrabble that is seriously making me doubt my aptitude at that game? Should I tell you about the interesting group of people that I hung out with on Friday whose home was so messy that I was given a "glass" of water in a tupperware container? I could write extensively about how I'm getting much better at dealing with people who don't like me and how unfazed I was to cross paths with one of them this past weekend. Or, I could tell you how I keep getting job postings for jobs like mine in different parts of California and how I'm considering actually applying for a couple of them. I'd love to tell you about the friend that I ran into on Saturday who, upon seeing me in a body hugging t-shirt and jeans, remarked that I looked like I had lost some weight and looked great (yay for friends like that!) For juicier stories, I could regale you with details of the kisses that I shared with a beautiful girl and two nice guys while intoxicated or the fantastic, mind-blowing sexual chemistry that I've been experiencing with someone lovely. And, these are just a fraction of the options....at any given time there are hundreds of things that I'm contemplating.

Or, maybe you aren't interested in any of those things and just come here for the song lyrics and random pictures that I often post. Well, if so, this is for you...

Looking back, it's always the same vicious circle
You fall in love like you'd fall from a bicycle
And everybody's walking in slow motion
You don't, you can't, control your reaction
You should try, because...
Your eyes are like an open book,
One can tell everything from the way you look
- Tahiti 80

For you to notice

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
Where I would impress you with every single word I said.
It would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
And you'd want to call me

Welcome to Winter

Winter is upon us. Every year, the first cold days feel like a shock to the system. I went for a run last night along River Valley Road and the cold wind coming off the river burned my ears, flushed my cheeks, and made my skin tingle. It felt like the wind was permeating through my skin and sinking deep into my bones. I'm not complaining though, I would take running in cool weather over sweltering heat any day. Last night I ran with a friend who is a little slower and slightly less in shape than me. It made me feel strong to be the one encouraging him to keep going and to count down the last two-minutes until the next walk break. I know how it feels to be pushed beyond one's comfort zone and I know how much of a difference it can make to have someone running alongside saying "you CAN do it…keep going!"

Afterwards, we went for dinner and then saw the movie "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" which I would highly recommend. I hadn't heard much about it and expected from the title that it would be a James Bond-like spy movie, however, it was much more of a comedy that was absolutely hilarious! I'm giggling to myself as I write this thinking back to a few choice scenes. Hahahaha. Go see it, blog reader, and then talk to me about it afterwards so we can giggle together : )

I am in good spirits. I have a lot going on at work and otherwise but I find myself happiest when that is the case. Next week I'll be in Regina from Tuesday to Thursday on a business trip related to the major project that I'm beginning work on. Business trips seem like such an adult thing, something that my dad would go on, but not me. I still feel sometimes like a child playing the role of an adult. I think part of the feeling comes from having so many friends who are either students or in non-professional jobs. Their youthfullness rubs off on me and ensures that I don't take myself too seriously.

I put on my overcoat and walked into winter
My teeth chattered rhythms
And they were grouped in twos or threes,
Like a morse code message was sent from me to me.
- Death Cab for Cutie

Ignite

Something had to change, and something(s) did. There have been some interesting and positive twists since my last entry. The details are unimportant, at least as far as a public blog is concerned, but what is important is how a few small things can change so much.

In any event, I've been running hard again. I have put myself on a strict running schedule and have stuck to it (except today). I have my eyes turned towards completing another half marathon and beating my time from Vancouver. I have three friends who have all expressed interest in running with me regularly which is very exciting since it combines socializing with exercise making it the best of both worlds.

As far as friends go, I've been getting to know a new friend in a whole new capacity. He's not a love interest, per se, but has been slowly, but steadily, endearing himself to me. He's hip without pretension, smart without nerdiness, handsome without arrogance, and funny without being unreacheable. I like him and I like the way we he makes me feel around him. I'm glad our lives have collided in the way they have.

That's all I can muster on this Sunday evening. I was up late late late last night and my brain feels like it's only functioning at minimum operational levels.

When I turn my feelings on
I turn my feelings on inside
Feel like I'm gonna ignite
- Spoon

Turn

Something has to change.