tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-117779542024-03-23T13:55:19.313-04:00Invincible SummerIn the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.comBlogger236125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-22111414268624752622007-05-23T19:21:00.000-04:002007-05-23T19:27:05.267-04:00I guess this is goodbye<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">I guess this is goodbye, old pal</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">You've been a perfect friend. </span><br /><br />I've been thinking of ending this blog for a while now and I've decided that it's time to finally say goodbye. There are many reasons why but the most compelling is this -- the things I most want to write about right now are not the things I feel comfortable posting on a public space. I am well aware that words posted to the internet can (and probably will) come back to haunt me for years to come and thus, this site, which started off being a very important form of self-expression, has become stiffling. <br /><br />The end of this site doesn't mean the end of me writing. In fact, I'll probably be writing much more extensively when I don't feel the need to censor myself so much. Maybe I won't feel this way forever but it's how I feel right now and instead of leaving my page blank for months and months, I thought I'd at least say goodbye to those of you who come here on a regular basis. <br /><br />It's been nice to have an audience to write to and I've certainly appreciated your thoughtful comments. <br /><br />Until we meet again...<br /><br />LeahLeahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-81469856124058399012007-04-27T16:00:00.000-04:002007-04-27T16:04:33.646-04:00There's No Place Like HomeI am finally home from my geographic profiling course. It was only two weeks (and even had a trip home in between) but if felt like a really long two weeks! What is geographic profiling? It's a method to help track down serial offenders by using the areas where they commit crimes to help identify where they might reside (or work). It's pretty neat and really effective when you apply it to cases that meet the criteria. I now have six months to complete a real case using the techniques that I've learned and then can be certified as a geographic profiling analyst.<br /><br />It's nice to be back home with no immediate plans to go anywhere for a little while. Although I've been away for four weeks already this year, my job normally doesn't involve much travel. I don't know how some people do it on a regular basis. Work travel is very different from personal travel, especially if you go with other coworkers because even in your 'off' times, you end up talking about work a lot and that can get really tiring. I usually retreated to my room in the evenings because I found myself needing some time to myself at the end of the day.<br /><br />The plan for the weekend is to relax, dance to reggae, eat yummy food, and spend time with everyone in Toronto who I've been missing.<br /><br />Happy Weekend!Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-65422989728585577822007-04-24T01:11:00.000-04:002007-04-23T23:15:08.885-04:00The Orphan AcheYour shoulders do not brush my shoulders,<br />Not even on a streetcar by accident.<br />And now I cannot recall whether your brown eyes<br />Were chocolate or spiced copper or sable.<br />Year after year more details vanish.<br /><br />Seventeen years later<br />I am reminded of you regularly<br />But I do not remember.<br />Oh, the perplexing irony<br />and the resulting shades of the truth.<br /><br />Yesterday a sweet perfume<br />Was swept by the wind into my nostrils.<br />Instinctively, I looked around for you,<br />And instead saw a grandmother step into a cab.<br />It still stings every single time.<br /><br />Will it take a lifetime<br />To heal all of my wounds?<br />The scars are precious --<br />A tangible proof that you really did exist<br />In flesh and not just in a child's mind's eye.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-10805061407733590812007-04-23T17:48:00.000-04:002007-04-23T15:51:05.506-04:00The Sun Poured Down like HoneyLast week I was away on a course for the week in a small town southwest of Toronto. I came home for the weekend and am now back for the second half of the course. I always miss home when I'm away but it gives me a lot of thinking time and it makes me appreciate all the good things that I now associate with "home". <br /><br />The weekend was warm and filled with sunshine. It felt like the first real days of spring and I tried to spend as much time as possible outside. I walked my bike down to the local bike shop and got some minor repairs done and filled the tires with air. Then, I went for a short bike ride and remembered how much I like biking. I rode while Eli skated beside me and we explored some streets in our neighborhood that we'd never been down before. It was wonderful seeing all the people on the street with smiles on their faces. It felt like people were emerging from their winter cocoons and were feeling the same elation that we were. <br /><br />This will be my first spring/summer in Ontario and I have a really good feeling about it. It already feels like a friendlier, more vibrant city than the one that greeted us when we arrived in the winter. Our normally quiet neighbourhood was bustling with energy and I've been told that it only increases as the weather gets nicer. It's hard to not be affected by the palpable anticipation and excitement that floats through the air. <br /><br />On Friday night I was really excited to see Soulwax performing at the Opera House. We got there early and were looking forward to a night of dancing and fun. I didn't really like the music playing when we got there but I was sure that it would get better as the night went on...it didn't. By 1:30am, Soulwax had still not hit the stage even though all of their instruments were set up and looked ready to go. We sensed that something was amiss. A few moments later, a tall, thin girl started gyrating on the stage, very much like a stripper, and was working hard to rev up the crowd. She then walked to the microphone and announced that there was an emergency and unfortunately Soulwax wouldn't be able to perform but that we should all have fun anyways. We waited another ten minutes and then decided to call it a night. How disappointing! $20 to hear mediocre DJs playing less than mediocre music. I don't know exactly what happened or why Soulwax wasn't able to perform but I HATE when headliners cancel at the last minute like that with no real explanation or apology. <br /><br />Despite that small setback, the weekend was lovely and I was really glad to have been able to come home from my course. It's grey and rainy out here today so I don't feel so bad being holed up in the middle of nowhere. <br /><br />I hope the sun is shining wherever in the world you happen to be...Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-37006224067609050152007-04-13T00:45:00.000-04:002007-04-12T22:48:24.549-04:00Dr. Jekyll and Ms. HydeDoes this look like the face of a vicious, aggressive cat to you?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCAV6ZJzIP5Y7MXebBHUrgFFrJOhtn-uYRfKWXaZdf2Y0wHvn2v16WPJdrPmjlalQvTBUlemSghSCXtgJDQ4lmrsBeh7dny81GmWNZ6G1ucfCzitWl4pN5-pUsCplY6yTSMLkd3w/s1600-h/reesekitten.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCAV6ZJzIP5Y7MXebBHUrgFFrJOhtn-uYRfKWXaZdf2Y0wHvn2v16WPJdrPmjlalQvTBUlemSghSCXtgJDQ4lmrsBeh7dny81GmWNZ6G1ucfCzitWl4pN5-pUsCplY6yTSMLkd3w/s320/reesekitten.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5052729420721611522" border="0" /></a><br /><br />No? Well, you should see her behaviour this week then. Our lovely, cat-loving friend, Laura, came to visit us from Vancouver and Reese is very unhappy about it. This behaviour started when I still lived in Edmonton but has become progressively worse lately and is very distressing and concerning. <br /><br />How scary can a cat be, you ask? Very scary. More than one person has phoned in tears, locked in a room, afraid to come out because of her. At first I thought that these people were over-reacting but then I saw it first-hand and was horrified. She hisses, growls, and threatens people. In addition, and far more concerning is the fact that she stalks strangers and attacks when unprovoked. She gets so upset that even I am not safe when she gets herself that worked up. <br /><br />I called a couple veterinarians today to get some advice and both advised that this is very serious and needs to be dealt with as soon as possible or it will escalate. Apparently, every time people cower at her aggressiveness it is providing positive reinforcement and lessens the likelihood of being able to break the behaviour. The <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">veterinarian</span> is going to refer her to a cat behavioural therapist (yes, my cat requires a kitty psychologist) where they will evaluate whether this is something fixable or not. She outlined quite clearly, however, that some animals have untreatable problems with aggression and need to be put down. <br /><br />I know that some of you reading this are probably thinking "it's just a cat" and wonder why I would invest time or money into an aggressive animal. Without wanting to sound like a 'crazy cat lady', all I can say is that I am devastated at the idea of possibly having to part ways with Reese. She is part of my family. She is my loyal companion and makes me happy in ways that are tough to express. I brought her home from the SPCA during an incredibly dark and dreary time in my life and she was a loving, always-there-for-me friend to come home to each day. In her <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">kittenhood</span>, she was playful and happy, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">mischievous</span> and smart, and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">irresistibly</span> cuddly. <br /><br />On a day-to-day basis she is a beautiful creature and I love sharing my home with her. She makes us all laugh with her antics. It is only when strangers come over (and only certain strangers) that she transforms into her vicious alter-ego. We love Reese but we also love having friends over to our home and would ideally not have these things be mutually exclusive. <br /><br />I called Eli in tears today and he reassured me that we'd try the behaviour modification before we made any decisions about Reese's future. Always the optimist, he told me that although there are *some* cats that it doesn't work for, there are also *some* cats that it does. As silly as it sounds to type this, we will take our cat to therapy and hope that we can address her issues. In the meantime, we're going to keep her separated from strangers - it's all we can do. <br /><br />Meow for now.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-51995910284382660662007-04-08T13:35:00.000-04:002007-04-08T11:39:07.522-04:00Love NestLast time I updated we had just lost out on bidding for a condo and I was mildly disappointed. I knew that eventually we'd find something just as nice but didn't expect that it would happen right away. It did! We saw a condo (on Craigslist of all places) in the morning and made an appointment to go view it that evening and upon setting foot in it, knew immediately that it was the place for us. It was much, much larger than any of the other condos we looked at and had more character. The building itself was built in 1908 and was converted to condos around 2003 which gave it the best of both worlds - old retro charm with all of the newer conveniences we wanted.<br /><br />The building from the outside:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/9-Gallery.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 191px;" src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/9-Gallery.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The kitchen that we plan to paint when we move in:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/5-Gallery.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/5-Gallery.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The breakfast bar/dining room area:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/4-Gallery.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/4-Gallery.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />A bay window in the living room!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/2-Gallery.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/2-Gallery.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />So many windows!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/1-Gallery.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/shmeeli/house/1-Gallery.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />We put in an offer that evening and were thrilled when it was accepted. We take possession on June 29th and are both incredibly excited! The condo is on the tip of the gay village which means that we are steps from shops, restaurants, clubs, and anything else we could possibly want. It is skateboard/biking distance to Eli's work and provides for a much more direct route to work for me. I think I'll even get to leave my car at home and commute by subway/train. There are parks in close vicinity and the lake is a short bike ride away. It feels like the perfect place for us.<br /><br />I feel so grateful these days to have so much going 'right' in my life.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-66625044596116231972007-03-27T23:41:00.000-04:002007-03-27T23:46:33.410-04:00So......we didn't get the condo. 4 offers came in and ours wasn't the one they chose. The hunt continues!<br /><br />If anyone knows the location of a totally awesome condo that no one else in Toronto knows about, let me know!Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-28478533019107149832007-03-27T21:30:00.000-04:002007-03-27T23:41:43.495-04:00Home Sweet HomeEver since we arrived in Toronto, Eli and I have toyed with the idea of buying a condo. A number of months ago we did, in fact, purchase a property but after giving it serious thought during the ten day "cooling off period", we decided to not go through with it. The property was nice but construction hadn't started yet and wouldn't be completed until 2009 (at the earliest) and we both realized that we had no idea where our lives would be in 2009 so <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">committing</span> to a future property just didn't sit right with us. In addition, we realized that moving into an area under development would mean construction around us for the next 8-10 years and neither of us was excited about that.<br /><br />After calling off that deal we both agreed to take a break from looking and decided that we would just rent until we had a better idea of what exactly we wanted. <br /><br />The current place that we rent is big and lovely and we both like living with our roommate, Caitlin, but neither of us likes how far we are away from our workplaces. In the last month or so, the commute has really started to wear on me and I fantasize more often than is probably healthy about how nice a week would be without 10+ hours of sitting in my car. We started looking at places to rent but I quickly realized that we could pay virtually the same amount and own a place so the real estate hunt began again.<br /><br />The ideal place of our dreams was:<br />- a house (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">hahahaha</span> - to think we could afford such a thing in Toronto!)<br />- with a yard (for the puppy that we dream about having one day!)<br />- close to both of our workplaces (we work about 50km away from each other so not sure how this would even be possible!)<br />- close to shops/grocery stores/banks<br />- funky and unique (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i.e</span>. not a cookie-cutter drone home)<br />- NOT in the suburbs<br /><br />Place of our dreams, yes, but there is nothing in reality that meets all of those criteria in this city. We then lowered our expectations...a LOT. We wanted something unique and cozy. A love nest built for two (and a cat). We were willing to compromise on size but weren't willing to compromise on location or price. We looked at lots of funky lofts and warehouse conversions but <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">every time</span> we saw one we liked we were told that the property was sold before we even had a chance to put in an offer. This is one of the universal truths to living in a big city: anything remotely good attracts LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of people.<br /><br />Then, last week, I met with our realtor and saw a cute one-bedroom place that I fell in love with at first sight. It was small but well-designed and used the space very efficiently. It had luxurious finishes that reminded me of a boutique hotel and I could easily imagine us living there. It was one streetcar ride for Eli to get to his work and was very close to the train station so that I could get to my workplace without driving. I came home and excitedly called Eli who was in Edmonton and swooned about the place. We learned that offers would be accepted on Tuesday (today!) which was perfect because Eli would be back in Toronto and could come take a look at it. Last night we went to see the place and he, too, fell in love with it. After a long conversation our minds were made up -- we decided to try to make it ours.<br /><br />A few moments ago our offer was faxed in and now the waiting game begins! We know that there are at least two other offers going in on the property tonight so we definitely aren't guaranteed to get it but we're hoping! I am anticipating my stomach flip-flopping all night until our realtor calls to let us know.<br /><br />Will we have a new home?!?!<br /><br />Stay tuned...update to come!Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-10516264640820228672007-03-15T21:30:00.000-04:002007-03-15T19:41:09.077-04:00Sticking to the StoryWhen Eli and I first met we talked, as people getting to know each other often do, about music. In one of those conversations he asked me to pick one band or artist who was my absolute favourite and explain why. I pondered that difficult question, weighed various genres of music, thought about whose music *really* made me swoon inside and settled on Luna. Why? The lyrics, the chords, the fact that it was the perfect music for making out to or road tripping or dancing or pretty much anything. Yes, Luna was my favourite band but sadly they broke up in February 2005 so (sob, sob) I'd never get to see them live. <br /><br />Fast forward to 2006 when I delighfully learned that two of the main contributors to Luna (Dean Wareham and Britta Phillips) had started a new project called Dean and Britta! Now, imagine my even greater delight at learning that they would be playing in Toronto on March 12th! Eeeeeeeeeeee! Excitedly, we bought tickets and I counted the days until the show. <br /><br />Finally, the night arrived and after a delicious meal of sushi and white wine we headed to Mod Club for the show. We entered the room just as the opening band was finishing. The room was sparsely filled but I was happy about that because it allowed us to get up really close to the stage and enjoy the show without being suffocated by swarms of people. Britta came out first in a Nancy Sinantra-esque black dress. She wore high boots and looked as gorgeous in real life as in all her press photos. She is a stunning, stunning woman and everyone (guy and girl alike) noticed. <br /><br />The set began and I was captivated from the very first notes to the very end ones. Dean and Britta have a warm sound that is soulful and sweet at the same time. Britta's sultry voice blends together perfectly with Dean's while lush chords fill all the empty spaces. The music is dreamy and ethereal but I wouldn't classify it as simple pop music. There are subtle complexities to the music that provide substance. I swayed and danced and thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. After the show I lurked around the stage for a bit and when Dean and Britta came out to gather up their guitars I nervously asked them to sign my cd. They were both gracious and friendly and it capped off a wonderful evening. <br /><br />The Mod Club has spectacular, clear sound and it has easily become my favourite Toronto venue to see shows. Tomorrow night we'll be heading back there to see Booka Shade! It still astounds me how many amazing artists come to Toronto ALL the time. Eli and I find ourselves having to be choosy about which shows we go to because it is impossible to attend everything we want to. On many weekend evenings we have to negotiate what we'll attend and usually have several options on the table. I just wish that we had more friends to take along with us. <br /><br />Making friends in a large city is difficult. On many occasions we've been out to shows and have spotted people who 'look' like people we'd want to be friends with. Of course, you can only gather so much information based on people's appearances but some people exude certain vibes/energies that appear to mesh with ours. We are never sure what to do in those situations and often do nothing at all. It's awkward to just strike up conversations with strangers and people here definitely seem less receptive to that. It's *somewhat* easier to chat with people at electronic music venues because there seems to be more of a widely accepted friendliness for the most part in that scene but I am often shy even in that situation because I don't want people to assume I'm high on some drug. <br /><br />I've never had problems making friends before but Toronto has been a challenge. I know that I just have to get myself involved in communities/classes/groups that are filled with the kind of people that I'd like to be friends with. I think the spring/summer will be a much better time for this when people come out of hibernation. I have to start perusing the local papers for events that resonate with me and go be sociable. The solution is easy yet it's also so hard! I'd love to hear from other people who have gone through relocation. How did you find a community to connect with? How did you make that connection?<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> Remember remember</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> I'm sticking to my story</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> Remember remember</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> It's all that I have left</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">- Luna</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"></span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-90087582123143596372007-03-07T09:40:00.000-05:002007-03-07T07:50:04.581-05:00AnticipationBirds are chirping this morning and the sun is shining in a vibrant blue sky. We are almost through the winter and I'm excited to see what Toronto is like in warmer weather. The gloominess hanging over last week has almost completely dissolved and I have been feeling sparks of anticipation for the future.<br /><br />One thing I'm very excited about is that I've decided to enroll in a writing course through the University of Toronto. It starts in April and continues through June. It's part of a larger creative writing certificate though I haven't decided if I'll do the whole program or just a course here and there. The idea of writing, being critiqued, and pushing myself is very appealing right now. I've felt incredibly inspired lately and need something to channel that energy into.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">Little darlin' it's been a long cold lonely winter</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">Little darlin' it feels like years since it's been here</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">Here comes the sun </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">- Harrison</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><small></small></span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-6536322083147324822007-03-04T23:35:00.000-05:002007-03-04T21:37:43.719-05:00UndercurrentsAfter some good cries, long talks, and deep breaths I'm feeling much better.<br /><br />I don't have much to say tonight but I wanted something happier to be at the top of this page. <br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">Under every trial life puts you through</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">Is an undercurrent of change</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">- Ron Sexsmith</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-27999994206351906252007-02-27T00:39:00.000-05:002007-02-26T22:43:47.796-05:00: (I had the most horrible day in recent recollection.<br /><br />My old buddhist teacher once remarked that he was surprised by how many people expect that things will always go well in their lives. He said that life is full of disappointments and that negatives are as much a part of life as all of the positive things. I know this to be true yet it doesn't quite take away the sting of today.<br /><br />I ran for an hour today but I couldn't escape my head or heart ache.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQC5tlW_6JS9yH0KAxgFkYUVqQdwfk0wQYc8BxjJXtpLpT3TZjwkBGPKeLyFi1zCSRKz7hR0CRzAn5ZFkxroV5YFqtYWIIRrXF_Zb-QWd-crgfIHwtiw0NvT3viWXS9F0eH3ntbQ/s1600-h/lonelytree.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQC5tlW_6JS9yH0KAxgFkYUVqQdwfk0wQYc8BxjJXtpLpT3TZjwkBGPKeLyFi1zCSRKz7hR0CRzAn5ZFkxroV5YFqtYWIIRrXF_Zb-QWd-crgfIHwtiw0NvT3viWXS9F0eH3ntbQ/s320/lonelytree.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5036053671195891602" border="0" /></a>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-70862591924510664432007-02-23T13:17:00.000-05:002007-02-23T13:21:53.978-05:00InspiredMontreal<br /><br />Poet with no poems<br />Lover with no love<br />Driver with no drive<br />Invisible as you try to be<br />You leave footprints<br />wherever you go.<br /><br />I sat in a cafe in Montreal<br />Half expecting you to come clink my glass<br />"To Cohen," you'd say<br />"To Dylan," I'd say<br />and both cringe at the cliches<br />our lives had become.<br /><br />Instead, I drank alone<br />and had red wine epiphanies<br />I forgot my journal<br />so the wisdom was lost<br />I flirted with the waiter<br />who preferred young men.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-55140527472299232702007-02-13T20:55:00.000-05:002007-02-05T23:47:48.027-05:00College Days/College Nights<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLgm9wxudt3BZGVGzXz5AJdJ20Zp4WhLRQsTh8xfaP9WTYVCAF-giyH4K9YfkWJzzcrxwxwWAtgJJmKFaiFW4QAxSk341X75_H7sMN2pEjjweKO5OD2jbHZG__NrVg2fYGlsnf5Q/s1600-h/MyPicture.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLgm9wxudt3BZGVGzXz5AJdJ20Zp4WhLRQsTh8xfaP9WTYVCAF-giyH4K9YfkWJzzcrxwxwWAtgJJmKFaiFW4QAxSk341X75_H7sMN2pEjjweKO5OD2jbHZG__NrVg2fYGlsnf5Q/s320/MyPicture.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5031167043179991746" border="0" /></a><br />Welcome to my dorm room. This is what I've been calling home for the last week and a bit. This room is considered a 'deluxe' room at the college because it has a double bed (most rooms have twins) and its own bathroom (most people have to share a bathroom with someone else). It's not so bad but I'm getting excited to go home on Friday. <br /><br />Eli came for a visit this past weekend and it was so good to see him. He arrived Friday afternoon with flowers and whisked me away from the college. We ate yummy food, got drunk at a pub called the Glue Pot, explored Ottawa and just enjoyed being in each other's company. Sunday night I snuck him into my dorm room and as I went off to class early Monday morning he headed back to Toronto. <br /><br />The course I'm taking feels like a waste of time which is disappointing. It's an advanced analytic course but so far it has been really underwhelming. After each lecture we are split into groups to complete banal exercises. We are then debriefed and told that there is no "right" answer. There is much repetition and very little challenge. Everyone in the class is an experienced analyst, many of us with undergraduate or graduate degrees, and I've been noticing that we all share similar sentiments. Thankfully, there's only a few more days to go.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-35287741741479150702007-02-05T20:03:00.000-05:002007-02-05T21:47:41.845-05:00Hello from OttawaBrrrrr! I'm in very chilly Ottawa for the next two weeks on a course. Due to an administrative mix-up I was put up in this room<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh18Fj0E9aIPsRXHty4TILBt1W0K9eladEY08kClH1XIB2uCmnP2tgzclU5XLawOySGxme1YJNfrPlRU-tYJuKJi1jtECMHPGMqggO7JenvVxhBaJubzC86AC1lEC6L6bbqwqEUTg/s1600-h/Photo+7.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh18Fj0E9aIPsRXHty4TILBt1W0K9eladEY08kClH1XIB2uCmnP2tgzclU5XLawOySGxme1YJNfrPlRU-tYJuKJi1jtECMHPGMqggO7JenvVxhBaJubzC86AC1lEC6L6bbqwqEUTg/s200/Photo+7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5028225964485712690" border="0" /></a><br /><br />instead of the bare bones college dorm that everyone else is staying in. I'm not sure if the true massiveness of the bed comes across in the picture but trust me, it is King-sized and seems fit more for a Roman orgy than a business trip. Unfortunately, my life of luxury ends tomorrow when I have to check into the regular ol' dorm. I will post a picture of that room tomorrow and you will see the sharp contrast.<br /><br />Tonight I'm in my room listening to Joni Mitchell and getting sentimental. Moments ago I was singing along to "I wish I had a river I could skate away on" and realized the irony that I am in Ottawa and do indeed have the Rideau River to skate away on. And I just might. But not tonight because it is c-c-c-cold and I am not used to this kind of bone-chilling winter!<br /><br />There are analysts from all over Canada on my course and I met some interesting people today including a guy from Toronto. He asked me how I was liking Toronto so far and I told him it was quite an adjustment. He told me that Toronto is a city that you need time to learn to love (three or four years, in his opinion!). He echoed the sentiment that I've heard from numerous people -- that everyone hates it in the beginning but over time you learn to love its eccentricities. Alright Toronto, I'm willing to take some more time to learn to love you but come on, show off more of your good parts!<br /><br />Truthfully, I'm *not* hating it. It's more like a complicated relationship that you're not sure is worth the effort -- but you're really hoping! I guess we'll see!<br /><br />One thing that was kind of a sad turn of events was that Eli lost his job. Yes, the job that we moved across the country for. It was unfortunate, but they just couldn't afford him due to a bunch of factors and were forced to let him go. It's been a tough couple of weeks but we've both come to terms with this and are trying to see the positive in it. This might sound like a cliche but I really do believe that when one door closes another one opens and I'm absolutely confident that something wonderful is going to come along for him. He's such a smart, talented, diversely experienced person and people see that immediately. I'm not worried but I know that he is so I hope that things happen sooner than later for him.<br /><br />Our lives have been filled with so much change lately. I'm so glad that we have each other to lean on...it makes both the good and the not-so-good a lot better.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">You think I'd leave your side baby?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">You know me better than that<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">I wouldn't do that. <br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">'Cause I'll tell you you're right when you're wrong</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">And if only you could see into me...<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">Oh, when you're cold, I'll be there to hold you tight to me</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">I will show you you're so much better than you know<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">When you're lost, when you're alone, and you can't get back again</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">I will find you, darling, and I'll bring you home</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">And if you want to cry I am here to dry your eyes<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">And in time you'll be fine</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">-Sade</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-35945381749288866532007-01-23T22:57:00.000-05:002007-01-23T22:58:21.509-05:00Not AdriftTime whirs by. It used to creep, it used to slink, but now it whirs. It's as if time has incorporated technological advancements and is now faster, lighter, sleeker - like a shiny new laptop, yet different. At the same time, I feel like I've slowed down, am puttering, and (dare I say) have stalled. This further amplifies the feeling that I am standing still while the world around me has been put on fast forward. It's wholly unpleasant and it makes me think that I have to do something about it. <br /><br />Something deep inside me screams that I am not made to sit in an office for 23.80% of my life (40 out of 168 hours in a week). While other people travelled after high school, after they completed University, or at some other time, I opted to work at full-time, career-related jobs instead. I was lucky to land well-paying jobs in my field and with student loans haunting me I felt that I had little choice but to work, work, work. To me, taking time off meant delaying the start of life. Some recent news has changed my perspective on the near future and has caused me to have a change of heart. Or at least, it's caused me consider having a change of heart. <br /><br /> Sure, working for the last while has been great for financial security and has given me lots of experience that looks good on a resume. But -- it's also limited the kinds of things I've done and has influenced the way I've lived my life. Getting up early everyday inhibits my activities on weekday nights. Having limited vacation time has meant that I've had to turn down trips and other opportunities. So, here I am, at the beginning of my third decade on the planet in an enviable financial state but, perhaps, a less enviable emotional one.<br /><br />We had a party at our place on Saturday night and I was talking to a friend who is a die-hard Burning Man devotee. He proudly showed me the receipt for his recently bought ticket and asked if I was thinking of going. My immediate reaction was "No, of course not. How could I get off enough time? It's so far! How could I go? That's ridiculous" but instead of saying that I kind of hummed and hawed about it and ended my reply with something like "yeah, maybe someday". And he laughed at me and told me that with that kind of commitment I'd never get there. And though I don't think Burning Man is exactly what's missing in my life it *does* surprise me that my reaction to someone asking if I was considering going was to think that it was ridiculous. What happened to the girl who did things because it was fun and not because it was practical? When did I get so...afraid? <br /><br />I thought that moving to Toronto would be a great opportunity for introspection and change because I was moving without a job and I was ready to open myself up to possibility and explore. But, as luck would have it, I found a job in my field before I even left Edmonton and because it was exactly what I thought I wanted, I quickly accepted it. I remember having conversations with friends many months ago where I talked about being excited to NOT work in an office and just serve coffee or work in a bar. I had daydreams of working part-time and filling my time with yoga and writing and meditation and thoughtful introspection about myself. But, when the job offer came along that was everything I wanted, the practical side of me demanded that I accept it. And, really, it's a great job - I have flexible hours, I have low stress, it's interesting and meaningful work, there's a workout room in the basement that I use all the time, I'm paid better than I've ever been paid before, I have excellent benefits, etc, etc, etc. I have everything I'd want except I don't think it's what I want right NOW. <br /><br />There was an article in the Globe and Mail a couple weeks ago called something like "Failure to Launch". It was an article about twenty/thirty-somethings who are "adrift" and are delaying careers, moving back in with their parents, and (gasp) smoking pot. I think they actually referred to our generation as chronic underachievers. It made me think that while I don't exactly fit into that description, I do look at being adrift with a certain longing. If anything I feel like I launched too early and am now wanting to get off the ride. I have joined the rat race and I'm not sure if that *should* be the ultimate goal. Some of the people they profiled in that article were pretty loathsome (the girl who thinks that her parents should support her until she can afford a down payment on a house after they already paid for her university tuition AND a trip to Europe) but there are enviable qualities to the drifters. <br /><br />I'm conflicted, obviously. Part of me craves stability and order in my life while the other part of me craves something extraordinary and spontaneous. I'm sure there is a way to reach a happy medium but I haven't quite discovered it yet. Have you? <br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);">I am on a lonely road and I am traveling</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);">Looking for the key to set me free </span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-34280718274295398622007-01-09T22:27:00.000-05:002007-01-09T23:03:55.334-05:00Happy New Year<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://paulmadonna.com/00_weeklyimages/095_shieldofimagination.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://paulmadonna.com/00_weeklyimages/095_shieldofimagination.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.paulmadonna.com/">Paul Madonna</a> is awesome.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-35783289749241771612006-12-22T13:58:00.000-05:002006-12-22T13:58:46.389-05:00Holiday GreetingsMy thirtieth birthday is right around the corner. Like, six days around the corner. The end of my twenties...it feels strange. I'm pretty happy with my place in the world so that makes it easier to face. I feel like I've accomplished a lot so far in my life and I'm excited about where the future is headed. Sure, it's just a number, but it's a milestone too. I remember being a child and daydreaming about what my future would be like. I'm sure I imagined myself to be married with children at this point. Am I disappointed that I'm not living that daydream? No, not at all. My childlike self had no idea what I would really want when I was 30. She couldn't imagine what a 30-year-old me would actually feel like.<br /><br />How do I feel? Content. I feel like I'm at a good place in my life. I'm happy to be working at a job that interests me, I am enjoying the challenge and excitement of living in a new place, and I'm still head over heels in love. Eli referred to us recently as being "happy as clams" and I think I agree with him.<br /><br />This week we've been celebrating Hannukah together. Each night we've lit candles, sung prayers in Hebrew, and have exchanged gifts. It's been very meaningful to develop our own traditions that reflect the homes and the cultures that we grew up in.<br /><br />Tonight we're leaving to go to Canmore until Boxing Day. My father is going to come and spend the holidays with Eli's family. It will be the first time that our parents will meet. I'm a little nervous but think that it will go alright. I am so excited to see the mountains, feel snow crunching beneath my feet and go skiing! Yay! Also, two of our good friends are coming to Canmore from Edmonton to visit with us for a day so there is much to look forward to.<br /><br />After Canmore we'll head back to Toronto for a day and then hit the road to celebrate my birthday in Montreal. It will be my very first time there so I'm quite excited. Eli and I will be staying at the luxurious Queen Elizabeth Hotel for two nights! We don't often splurge on such decadent things but we decided that it was warranted for a special occasion. Fun fact you might not know about this hotel: it's where John and Yoko had their famous "bed-in" back in 1969. <br /><br />Happy holidays everyone and best wishes for the new year!Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-30188257610498311392006-12-12T00:18:00.000-05:002006-12-11T22:28:54.207-05:00Overdue UpdateI used to write a lot at work. Now, however, I have extremely limited <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">internet</span> capabilities during the day so my writing has suffered. My productivity, on the other hand, has skyrocketed. I *hate* to admit this but I am a much better worker when I don't have the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">internet</span> at my fingertips and you know what? Being more productive makes me feel more alive and accomplished at the end of the day. I know this shouldn't be an epiphany but it is. It's not that I didn't get my work done before -- I did. I always produced good work that was highly regarded but now I'm able to do more.<br /><br />Still, I miss the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">internet</span>.<br /><br />In any event, I've been up to lots lately!<br /><br />Friday night, Eli told me that he had a plan for the evening and it involved "handfuls of LED lights, the corner of Queen and <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Spadina</span>, a <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">parkade</span>, and other fun stuff involving dancing". I was intrigued! We went for dinner to the <a href="http://www.dine.to/greenroom">Green Room</a> and then at around 11pm we headed over to the intersection. By the time we got there a crowd was already gathering. It was an event called <a href="http://www.newmindspace.com/radicalillumination.php">Radical Illumination</a> which involved a temporary art installation that we were all invited to be a part of. We were all given a handful of LED "<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">throwies</span>" and were told that we were all going to decorate a streetcar!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGb4o5goQIQvd5viY-1iXZIpqwhLFoNT-InaldZJ-XMm0AJl_lPl93DxsZCtaUAMjVTXfN8e33TfC1MBEq3h53JTy9vystBss8naYwNZ18zHUupoaRIYhGCsQo59FuZMZTBNs1jA/s1600-h/throwies.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGb4o5goQIQvd5viY-1iXZIpqwhLFoNT-InaldZJ-XMm0AJl_lPl93DxsZCtaUAMjVTXfN8e33TfC1MBEq3h53JTy9vystBss8naYwNZ18zHUupoaRIYhGCsQo59FuZMZTBNs1jA/s200/throwies.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5007476806098222994" border="0" /></a><---"<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">throwies</span>"<br /><br />At around 11:11pm, we were told to "attack" the next streetcar with lights and hundreds of people all rushed forward and starting throwing lights on it. The expression of the people on the streetcar was priceless! Some were bewildered, some were entertained, and some were frightened! The driver, having no idea what was going on, just kept driving through and refused to stop. Within seconds, four or five police cars showed up and immediately put a stop to everything. It was obvious that they were didn't know exactly what was going on but they wanted to make sure that everyone knew that they were there watching. They shut down the streetcar line and the whole party kinda fizzled.<br /><br />Apparently, the plan was to takeover the next streetcar with a mobile party. The mobile party was then going to take everyone to an abandoned <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">parkade</span> and were planning on having a party that "straddles the line between public and private space". We were absolutely freezing and weren't sure if anything was going to happen so we left but I've read that the party at the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">parkade</span> also got busted and they moved on to a Tim Horton's(?) and the cereal aisle of a grocery store! You have to give them a few points for persistence...they were determined to have a public dance party and they did!<br /><br />Sure, things didn't really work out exactly as planned but I was so impressed by the energy and exuberance of everyone there. They really wanted to bring smiles to everyone around them and I liked the idea of a glowing, covered streetcar. I saw so many people in the crowd who looked interesting and fun and I think we're going to try to go to more events that this group has. They've put on other events in the city like pillow fights and giant capture the flag games set in the financial district!<br /><br />Saturday night was the <a href="http://www.sixshooterrecords.com/">Six Shooter</a> Christmas party which was a really fun time. It was all the people from Eli's office, a bunch of their bands, and a potpourri of people from the Toronto music scene. At one point I was introduced to a guy named Michael (I had no idea who he was) and we chatted for a long time about my job and crime in Ontario. In the course of the conversation I casually asked how he was connected and he said "oh, I'm a music producer. I've done some work with Six Shooter before". Later, Eli informed me that he was Michael Phillip <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Wojewoda</span> who has produced records for the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Barenaked</span> Ladies, Spirit of the West, Jane <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Sieberry</span>, etc. <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Ooops</span>. I felt so silly. I've seen his name on many records but I had no idea who he was and chatted his ear off about my job.<br /><br />The weeks feel like they zoom by. I think my internal clock has been thrown off by the contrast in weather here. It is still quite warm and there is absolutely no snow. Some trees still haven't had all their leaves fall off yet! I didn't realize how acclimatized I have been to Alberta winters. I am excited to be spending a few days in Canmore over the holidays.<br /><br />Because we don't know as many people here, I've been finding a lot more time to catch up on things that got neglected during our move -- like running! I'm running three times a week now and it feels so good to be doing it regularly again. There's a full gym in the basement of my work so it's easy to fit in a workout during the day. I'm starting to have daydreams about half-marathons in the spring but I don't want to fully commit to anything yet.<br /><br />That's it for now...thanks for continuing to check back with me : )Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-1162956440336145782006-11-07T22:25:00.000-05:002006-11-15T18:29:33.903-05:00PatienceSporadic updates seem to be the norm for me lately. I've been having troubles putting my thoughts into words. Change can be so overwhelming and it has taken me some time to process it all. I am in Week Two of my new job. It's been alright but I can't help but feel like I am working in a television sitcom world. I am working in a place that takes suburbia to the extreme. It's one of the richest places in Canada and its crime trends and demographics are bizarre to say the least. <br /><br />I've spent the last week familiarizing myself with the area and going on ride-alongs with the police and as far as I can tell there is an incredibly small amount of serious crime in the area that I'll be analyzing. That's great, isn't it? Well, yes, UNLESS you are a crime analyst whose job revolves around crime. The biggest call yesterday was a lady who called the police about a deer jumping in her backyard. A deer? Is that really a police matter? Or, last week, the woman who felt that employees at Tim Horton's were threatening her because they made her coffee wrong. Sigh. Wealthy people call the police for the most absurd things.<br /><br />I worry about being bored but I also know that less crime means more in-depth analysis will be possible on what crime there is. I'll also be able to do more research and explore areas that I've wanted to but have never had time for before. All in all, I think I'll have to see how the next few months unfold before deciding if it's a good fit.<br /><br />On a different note, my very good friend Kim is coming to visit this week and I am *so* excited to see her. When Kim learned that I was moving away she promised me that she would come visit and I am thrilled that she meant it. Visits with Kim are like taking a deep breath in and then slowly exhaling : )Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-1161801422019671252006-10-25T14:33:00.000-04:002006-11-15T18:29:33.768-05:00Cloudy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1501/969/1600/cn-tower_clouds_rooftop_01.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1501/969/200/cn-tower_clouds_rooftop_01.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Since I moved to Toronto, there haven't been very many days with sunshine. Most days have been grey, cloudy, and interspersed with rain. Today, however, there is a bright blue sky and plenty of sunshine and I feel the happiest that I have since I moved here.<br /><br />Although I might not have revealed it explicitly in my previous posts, the first days in Toronto were really tough. While Eli seemed to relish the newness and the busyness of the city, I felt overwhelmed. My reaction surprised me because I am normally very open to change and excited by it but this change was different. Because it wasn't easy and I didn't feel comfortable right away, I began to think that moving here was a mistake and I longed for the comfort of my condo and my familiar friends and my old life.<br /><br />Now that I've been here for a while, I'm feeling much better about everything. This week we were invited to a dinner party with a bunch of ex-Edmontonians who are now in Toronto. It was a great night. And last week we were at our favourite local pub (yes, we've already found a favourite local pub!) and overheard another young couple mention that they had just moved here from Winnipeg. We went up and chatted with them, exchanged numbers, and they invited us over a couple days later for a drink. Connecting with people feels good so I'm grateful that we've met so many interesting people lately.<br /><br />I am pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to get around Toronto. The transit system is designed brilliantly making it simple for someone not familiar with the city to get around. Buses run straight down every main street and are named for that street. Therefore, when you get on a "Bloor" bus, the bus stays on Bloor and doesn't veer off in other directions. It makes it very simple to get from one place to another. For someone used to driving everywhere, it's amazing to be able to get around so easily without a car.<br /><br />Last Friday I went to see the Andy Warhol exhibit at the Ontario Art Gallery which was curated by David Cronenberg. I'm so glad I was able to catch it in its last weekend as it was a fantastic exhibit. Next week an exhibit starts at the Royal Ontario Museum on Italian art and design. There is so much to do here. If I ever complain of boredom then there is something wrong!<br /><br />On Monday I start my new job and I'm getting excited to go back to work and into more of a routine. My mind feels like it's gone to mush with all this time off so I'm looking forward to putting it back in use.<br /><br />And, now as I look out the window, I see that it has once again clouded over. Sigh. I guess that I will have to relish the bits of sunshine that come my way however few and far between they are.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">Hey sunshine</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">I haven't seen you in a long time.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"><br />Why don't you show your face and bend my mind?</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"><br />These clouds s</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">tick to the sky</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"><br />Like fl</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">oating questions, why?</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"><br />And they linger there to die.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"><br />They don't know where they are going, and, my friend, neither do I.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"><br /></span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-1161645078810377672006-10-23T19:08:00.000-04:002006-11-15T18:29:33.021-05:00Apropros<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1501/969/1600/102206-800x530-coffee.1.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1501/969/400/102206-800x530-coffee.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />This seemed particularly relevant today.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-1161026436643723472006-10-16T14:48:00.000-04:002006-11-15T18:29:32.885-05:00LandedHi again. We're now firmly in Toronto, starting to get settled, and have time to sit and reflect and breathe deeply. Ahhhhh. <br /><br />The trip across Canada was long but much easier than either of us was expecting. The cat behaved (save for one incident that almost killed us), the drive was interesting taking us through places neither of us had ever been before, and we passed the time with long conversations and reading the newspaper to each other. After four days we were both ecstatic to get out of the car and we really haven't driven much in it since. <br /><br />Our neighborhood is amazing. We live on a street lined with lovely brick houses that have been around for a lot longer than anything in my old neighbourhood. We live a block away from St. Clair Avenue which is a busy street filled with shops selling anything and everything you could ever need. In a one block radius from our house is a knitting cafe, a hardware store, fruit stands, a mexican restaurant, a thai restaurant, a paint store, a pet store, various coffee shops, etc, etc, etc. Also outside our doorstep is a streetcar stop that runs 24 hours and can take us to the subway or anywhere else in the city that we would need to get to. I'm starting to realize that there is little need to drive...ever. <br /><br />Our house is lovelier than I could have imagined. It is HUGE by Toronto standards and even with three of us living in the house, we still have lots of space and privacy. We spent yesterday painting our bedroom from a disgusting sponge-painted mess to a gorgeous latte/mocha colour. It is my favourite wall colour that I've ever had. In the next few days we're going to get started on the living room and then we'll be able to really relax. <br /><br />Everything feels like it's coming together, including the fact that I have a landed a great job. I will be working in the same field that I was which makes me incredibly happy. For a while, I felt like I was going to have to compromise what I wanted to do by coming out here but as it turns out, Eli and I will both have jobs that we are excited about. The one downfall is that my job is located in Oakville which is a fair commute each day. Still, there are trains that I can take which will take the stress out of commuting and will give me time to wake up before work and wind down after work. I don't think I'll mind the commute so long as I don't have to drive each day. I figure I'll get a chance to catch up on lots and lots of reading. <br /><br />It still feels like we are on vacation but it's slowly sinking in that this is home. Eli starts work in a week but I still have two weeks before I'll begin work. In that time, I hope to find a gym, a yoga studio, get more familiar with the city, and explore! <br /><br />The weather was absolutely freezing when we first moved here but the sun is shining today and I feel like today is reflective of the fall days that I was dreaming about. <br /><br />I am feeling more homesick than I anticipated but I know that it's normal and is just me adjusting to such an enormous change. I can feel the stress dissolving with each passing day and I do believe deep down that I'm going to like it here. <br /><br />I would love to hear how *you* are doing. It is so nice to get emails from friends at home (hint, hint, hint)...<br /><br />More soon.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> May your hands always be busy,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> May your feet always be swift,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> May you have a strong foundation</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);"> When the winds of changes shift.<br />-Bob Dylan<br /></span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-1159859770710592552006-10-03T01:58:00.000-04:002006-11-15T18:29:32.767-05:00Tick Tick TickAnd time ticks on. This Saturday we will leave Edmonton. Our first stop is Calgary for a quick visit and Sunday the real road trip will begin. We have almost everything packed, to-do lists are ticked off, and we have been getting lots of opportunities for visits with friends. The last few weeks have been hectic but they've also been filled with so many warm conversations that have left me beaming from the inside out.<br /><br />I feel very lucky to have been shown such kindness of late. We have been treated to a delicious dinner, had a potluck organized in our honour, had friends come and dance and drink with us, had yummy cupcakes made for us, and on and on and on. It has been overwhelming in the nicest way possible.<br /><br />The last few weeks have also made me realize that I have the most wonderfully patient, loving, and helpful partner a girl could ever ask for. Eli has been a true saint and I appreciate him so much. After spending several days running miscellaneous errands that I asked him to, he spent hours upon hours helping me pack up all my stuff and disassembling furniture. Then, as if that wasn't enough, he volunteered to clean my car from top to bottom. Have I mentioned that I feel grateful? I do.<br /><br />Tomorrow I have a phone interview for another job that I applied for. I will sit and answer questions amongst the towers of boxes that fill my condo.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11777954.post-1159222399804230932006-09-25T18:10:00.000-04:002006-11-15T18:29:32.645-05:00T-minus 13 days!Less than two weeks until we leave and we have SO much to do! Every day of the next two weeks is booked with something or someone. Tomorrow evening I'm flying to Toronto for a job interview. It seems a bit ridiculous that I'm flying out there two weeks before I will live there permanently but they couldn't wait for me and insisted I come out this week. Wednesday afternoon I'll have an interview followed by a two-part exam and then will get some time to hang out with friends and see our new place! Early Thursday morning I'll come back to Edmonton. Saturday we're off to Calgary to see my parents one last time before we move. Whooosh! My life feels like a bit of a whirlwind right now!<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1501/969/1600/Whirlwind3.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1501/969/200/Whirlwind3.jpg" border="0" /></a>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345724718861519624noreply@blogger.com4