Quote/Unquote

I've been feeling a bit blue this week so I decided that some fall cleaning would cheer me up. In doing so, I came across my well-used daytimer from 2002. I used to keep track meticulously of all of my activities and in the blank spaces I would write down song lyrics, quotes, or random thoughts that occured to me. In flipping through the pages, I came across some beautiful words and I thought that they might shine some light into YOUR corner of the world, wherever YOU happen to be.

Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
- G. Moore

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One word frees us
Of all the weight and pain in life
That word is Love.
- Socrates

To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.

You may only be one person to the world
But you may also be the world to one person

Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

Love is trembling happiness.
- Kahlil Gibran

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
- Benjamin Disraeli

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.
For that which is essential is invisible to the eye.
- The Little Prince

The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.

Come live in my heart and pay no rent.

New Gadget

One of my fantastic friends, Kris, generously gave me some gift certificates for A & B Sound and today I went shopping! I ended up purchasing a tiny 1GB Sony mp3 player that will be perfect for long runs. I pondered buying an iPod but because I'm going to be using it primarily for running (involving lots of bouncing), I thought something a little less delicate was a better idea.

This mp3 player uses flash memory and boasts that it can charge 3 hours in 3 minutes!!! I can't wait to load some music on it and take it outdoors with me. It is so light and so small. I can't believe that it can hold close to 700 songs on it.

Ooooh, behold it's cuteness:

Good Vibrations

Whooosh! This week has been filled with excitement and it has flown by as a result. I have a brand new project at work that I am VERY excited about! It is an actual research project that will involve a literature review, a carefully planned out strategy, a site visit to another agency in another city, and lots and lots and lots of work. I am excited because if this project takes off and is actually implemented it WILL have a positive impact on the city itself. The other exciting part is that I think this project could be used for a masters degree which I am hoping to start next year! At this point, however, it is huge and daunting and I am trying to figure out where to even begin.

Aside from work, life has been chugging along nicely. I've had the opportunity to spend some quality time with good friends and that always makes me feel good. I also have found a worthy opponent for Scrabble and have been getting more than my fill of the game! This opponent is seriously a good challenge and beats me more often than I beat him which just makes me want to play more!

In summary, there are good things on the horizon.

I'm Not Sorry

I lay on my bed the other night and stared at the ceiling, tracing over the patterns in the stipple. The recurring curves and spots seemed to echo the patterns that are so clear in my life. I had the realization that the same outcome, four times in a row, isn't a coincidence. My eyes moved continuously over the length of the ceiling while my thoughts raced in several different directions. All the while, these apropos lyrics played on repeat in my head:

There's one thing I want to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted,
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
- Stars

It's true, I'm not sorry that I welcomed the possibility of love. I'm not sorry that I came to the realization that it wouldn't work out. I am sorry that I hurt your feelings in the process.

Next time, I will dip a toe in the water but I will not dive in. At least, not right away.

Loss

The latest Vanity Fair has a very detailed, autobiographical article by a woman who discovers that she has liver cancer at age 43. She is married with two young children and she writes bravely and honestly about learning she has cancer, her treatments, and coming to terms with her mortality. It was heartbreaking and beautiful. I broke into sobs so hard that I had to stop and wipe my eyes so that I could see the page. It gave me a glimpse of what my mom must have been thinking/feeling/dealing with/ during her own battle with cancer. At one point, she worries that her kids will think of her and grieve continuously. Or not think of her at all. Or that her son will lose his beaming smile that he seems to beam only at her. It hit me in a tender spot. The well-hidden, but intense, tinge of loss resurfaces to make me feel sad this evening.

Flushed with the Night

There is a definite chill in the air these days. The sun is setting earlier and it reminds me that winter is lying in wait around the corner, ready to pounce on us at any moment. Last night Keith and I traipsed through fallen yellow leaves. We had dinner at the New York Bagel Cafe in its warm, earthy ambience where we were serenaded by a classical guitar player who sang softly in Spanish. We ended the evening by sipping a delicious merlot at Savoy.

This morning, I woke up earlier than normal and saw the most beautiful sunrise. The sky was filled with orange and pink hues and it filled me with optimism even though I was headed to have a root canal. As it turns out, the endodontist advised me to wait six months and give my pesky tooth a chance to heal before having any more dental surgery. I breathed a big sigh of relief and was more than happy to leave his office unscathed.

And when you ran to me
Your cheeks flushed with the night
We walked on frosted fields
Of juniper and lamplight
I held your hand
-Simon and Garfunkel