Loss

The latest Vanity Fair has a very detailed, autobiographical article by a woman who discovers that she has liver cancer at age 43. She is married with two young children and she writes bravely and honestly about learning she has cancer, her treatments, and coming to terms with her mortality. It was heartbreaking and beautiful. I broke into sobs so hard that I had to stop and wipe my eyes so that I could see the page. It gave me a glimpse of what my mom must have been thinking/feeling/dealing with/ during her own battle with cancer. At one point, she worries that her kids will think of her and grieve continuously. Or not think of her at all. Or that her son will lose his beaming smile that he seems to beam only at her. It hit me in a tender spot. The well-hidden, but intense, tinge of loss resurfaces to make me feel sad this evening.