I'm Not Sorry

I lay on my bed the other night and stared at the ceiling, tracing over the patterns in the stipple. The recurring curves and spots seemed to echo the patterns that are so clear in my life. I had the realization that the same outcome, four times in a row, isn't a coincidence. My eyes moved continuously over the length of the ceiling while my thoughts raced in several different directions. All the while, these apropos lyrics played on repeat in my head:

There's one thing I want to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted,
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
- Stars

It's true, I'm not sorry that I welcomed the possibility of love. I'm not sorry that I came to the realization that it wouldn't work out. I am sorry that I hurt your feelings in the process.

Next time, I will dip a toe in the water but I will not dive in. At least, not right away.