Whoosh

On days when it has been rainy and cold outside I have given myself permission to drive to work instead of bike. Today, however, when my alarm went off, the sun was shining brightly and there was only blue sky above so I had no excuse to be lazy. As the piercing beep-beep-beeps filled my room, I begrudged myself for staying up so late last night. I started negotiations in my head (if you drive you can sleep for another 30 minutes! It *might* rain later! You can always bike tomorrow!) but ultimately rolled out of bed. Fifteen minutes later I was pedaling hard, feeling the wind whip by me, and was happy that determination won over laziness.

The weekend was nice overall. Friday night at the Art Bar was a lot of fun. It was packed with people and was buzzing with energy. People seem in better spirits since the weather turned sunny (maybe it has something to do with all the pretty girls in summer dresses!) Drinks were cheap and we took advantage of that and I found myself in a dizzy, happy, hiccup-plagued state. The Art Bar itself is really nicely done. I had to remind myself that it wasn't just a bar in the Art Gallery but was an art installation in itself. It is a small space with deep, warm colours that almost seem more suited to Fall or Winter than the middle of Summer. There are lovely arches that give it a cozy feel and one of the walls has a wallpaper pattern that adds a bold splash of colour to the room. The lighting is dim and moody. I liked it. I wish it was a permanent fixture there. It's the kind of place that makes you want to have long, memorable conversations. Beside the Art Bar was a larger room set up for mingling and dancing and people were doing both.

Ooooh, if you are looking for a website to kill some time, check this out. It's an amazing project that has been running since 2005. It monitors the web, searching for blog posts that have the terms "I feel" in them and then takes an excerpt and categorizes the feeling. The result is a database of millions of human feelings that can be sorted by feeling, location, gender, or other demographics. I spent a few hours on the weekend completely captivated by it. Check it!

Let Me Out

The summer festivals have officially begun. North Country Fair last weekend was so much fun! Eli and I left Friday afternoon with the most organized, well-packed car I have ever had for a camping trip. The weekend was overcast and a bit rainy but that didn't dampen our spirits at all. We were surrounded by good friends who made the weekend fantastic. By Sunday, we were both exhausted but happy. It's made me look even more forward to the rest of the festivals we are planning on attending.

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future. That song has been in my head today and it seems so appropriate because time does feel like it's slipping. The days, the weeks, the months are all going by so quickly. Before I know it I'm going to be packing up my stuff and moving somewhere else. I've already begun paring down my possessions. Yesterday I sold my beloved blue couch with the bright yellow pillows and gave away some furniture that was haunting one of my closets. It feels good to simplify, I need to do more of that.

Sigh. It's a sunny Friday afternoon and I just want to get OUT of here! I am sipping on cold coffee that I've had since I came into work this morning (ewww? It's actually not as bad as you'd think!). My mind is already on weekend mode and I keep finding myself daydreaming about all the plans I've made. Tonight I have an after-work BBQ with some of my co-workers and then later a cool event at the Edmonton Art Gallery called Art Bar which should be lots of fun.

Let me out...

Dream Dream Dream

Last night I had a rather ominous dream. I was walking outside, looking at the grey, cloud-filled sky when I noticed a Westjet plane flying above. The plane was flying upside down which I thought was strange. I turned to the person next to me (I can't recall who it was) and said, "look, the plane is flying upside down" and as I said that it rotated and began flying right side up. Then, all of a sudden, the plane began to lose elevation. It went lower and lower until I couldn't see it anymore and in its place came huge flames and billowing smoke. The dream was so vivid, so memorable, and so realistic that when I woke up I went to the Internet and checked if there were any news reports of a plane crash (thankfully there weren't). I rarely recall dreams but I recalled so much of this one. I don't know much about dream interpretation but I can't imagine dreams of plane crashes are a good sign.

In other news, I'm realizing how complicated life can be at times. I am on various email lists for my profession and often get sent job postings for positions across North America. In most cases, I promptly press delete without a second thought but today I noticed a posting for 8 positions in Vancouver. Sigh. I have dreamed about living in Vancouver but not right *now*. Now is totally the wrong time. Still, I think I have to apply just to see what happens. Chances are the competition will be stiff for this position and I may not even have to make any difficult decisions. But what if…? Hmm…I can't even think about that!

I'm very excited for this weekend. Eli and I are heading to the North Country Fair. It's a celebration of the summer solstice and is filled with music, dancing, camping, campfires, and all sorts of adventure. I've been several times before and it's always been a fantastic time. Hopefully, we'll get lots of sunshine and not so much rain this year!

Say Yes

On June 3rd, Stephen Colbert gave a commencement address at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois. Among the humour and political commentary, he had this piece of advice near the end of his speech:

Now will saying “yes” get you in trouble at times? Will saying “yes” lead you to doing some foolish things? Yes it will. But don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes.”

Perhaps it's my current state of mind, but that part definitely resonated with me and I've had that phrase "say yes" repeating over and over in my head. Those two words are so simple yet powerful. I've made some decisions lately that have been based on taking a leap of faith and saying yes and instead of feeling anxious or afraid, I feel positively empowered.

I've come to realize that just because things are a certain way doesn't mean they have to remain that way. Sure, the "practical" thing might be to work at my stable, well-paying job and live in Edmonton and maintain my condo but that isn't necessarily what I HAVE to do. How freeing to give myself permission to shake up my life if I feel like it. And I think that I do feel like it. I already have some ideas in my head of how I'm going to approach the next six months. By early next year I suspect that things are going to be very, very different and instead of being frightened by uncertainty, I'm feeling pretty excited.

Rejection Can Be Good (Sometimes)

I didn't get the job that I posted about here. I was told, however, that I was ranked 6th out of the 22 who were shortlisted out of the hundred(?) or couple hundred(?) who originally applied. I'm pretty happy with that. Getting offered that job would have added a whole new layer of complexity to an already complicated life. Now that I know I haven't gotten it, I can cross that option off the list and consider everything else.

To escape from thinking too much, I bought Nick Hornby's new book A Long Way Down. It's the story of four people who decide independently to commit suicide on New Year's Eve from a popular suicide spot and whose plans get derailed when they arrive on the roof and find the others up there with the exact same idea. So far it's highly readable and filled with wry humour.

Here's an excerpt:

He wasn't Ringo, though. He was more like Paul. Maureen was Ringo, except she wasn't very funny. I was George, except I wasn't shy or spiritual. Martin was John, except he wasn't talented or cool. Thinking about it, maybe we were more like another group with four people in it.