I don't care if Monday's black

Another weekend came and went. This one was fairly low key but I think I needed that. I spent Friday and Sunday evening on my own and read, listened to music, folded some origami, lauded affection on my cat, and was just quiet in my own space. I'm a fairly extroverted person but I still savour time spent alone. In the company of others I find it difficult to reflect because I'm too caught up in the present. Yet, without reflection, I tend to feel lost and disconnected from my feelings.

On Friday, I came home from work feeling disheartened and upset. A long, stressful work week in combination with a small conflict with a good friend left me extra sensitive. I met up with E. after work and with very little provocation, ended up in tears. Mostly, I felt overwhelmed and just needed to vent my frustration and anxiety. He listened and offered some good advice while I simultaneously felt better (for having talked about what was bothering me) and worse (because I immediately worried that I wasn't very much fun to be around). Of course, I don't expect anyone around me to be happy all the time but I have pervasive thoughts that people expect that of me.

A couple weeks ago, my stepbrother sent me a copy of The Alchemist and I finally finished it last night. It was my second time reading it and it was okay, but not as good as I remembered it being. I think that's partly because I began to recall how it ended partway through so it lost the suspense that it had on its first reading. I won't say any more than that because it's the kind of book that is best read without much preamble. If you haven't read it, check it, and let me know what you think.

When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.
- from The Alchemist