Blur

Snow, snow, and more snow! I don't recall the last time we had a snowfall like the one we experienced this weekend. Friday night, soft flakes started tumbling to the ground and they just kept falling all weekend making the roads an absolute nightmare! My poor little car just couldn't handle all the slush so we got stuck again and again! It was heartening to have strangers leap out of their vehicles to assist us though - it made me feel like our city is really a small community after all.

Aside from the frustrations of the snow, I had a nice weekend but something was amiss deep down. I've been feeling like my life has become a series of routines and it's making me feel antsy and restless. The weeks pass by in a blur leaving me with a strong sense of déjà vu. I don't know what it is, I guess I feel like I've somehow lost the meaning in my days. I used to feel passionately about the work that I did but lately it's been feeling like I go to work more for a paycheque than anything else. I'm not ready to abandon this job, but I need something -- a goal, a hobby, a craft, a something, to focus on and achieve. If my job isn't filling me with passion then I have to find that elsewhere.

Last year at this time I was committed to running the Vancouver Half-Marathon. I steadily worked towards that goal and was incredibly proud when I achieved it. I feel like I need something similar. A strict writing regimen, a big art project, an athletic goal, or something. I want to stop feeling so listless and, well, boring.

"Kathy, I'm lost," I said,
though I knew she was sleeping
"I'm empty and aching and I don't know why"