Bliss

"... No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one’s existence,--that which makes its truth, its meaning--its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream--alone...."

That being said, I'll try and convey the life-sensation that I felt this weekend. In one word: bliss. Suddenly, without any substantive effort on my part, the fog that had settled around me lifted. It felt like waking up from a long, fitful sleep and realizing that it was all only a bad dream.

I sat at the top of a parking garage with a good friend on a windy but warm evening. The air smelled like summer. I wrapped my hands around a warm coffee and smiled at how something so simple could feel so nice. We watched people who didn't know we were watching them. We then got called, literally, to go back to the music and the mayhem.

I entered the smoky, crowded club and was met by so many lovely, smiling faces. There was an electric feeling in the air. Old friends came and embraced me with a warmth that can only come from familiarity. It was so deliciously overwhelming that I had to just stop and take it all in.

What a contrast to the night a couple months ago when I walked across the High Level Bridge and looked over the edge wondering whether I would feel pain if I struck the ground from that height.